What do you call a werewolf with a fever? A hot dog. Why did the zombie eat brains? He wanted food for thought. If you’re booing right now, thank you, thank you very much. We'll be here all night.

That party was a real scream. Reading my daily horror-scope. No better way to kick off Halloween than with a bagel and scream cheese. I’m dead. (Literally.) Simply eerie-sistible. Trick-or-treat ...

I've got tricks and treats up my sleeve. It's the most frightful time of the fear. Your costume? Couldn't scare less. Don't forget your spoo-key—this house doesn’t unlock itself. You can always count ...